can flag2Proudly Canadian, located in Victoria, BC



    Valentine's Day is here!

    • February 10, 2016
    • Written by The Love Den

    Valentine's Day is here!


    Its that time of year again - Valentine's Day!

    Loved by some, and dreaded by many, no other day has the potential to throw even the most reasonable people into stress, trying to create the perfect scene, buy the perfect gift and act in the perfect way to make their partner happy. This is a very noble jesture and I must admit I too love having someone I love pamper me and shower me with treats!

    Quite often though, even the most well intended gifts and plans can miss the mark, and unlike XMas or Birthday gifts, a failed Valentine Gift seems (to some) to reflect the giver's feelings ..."The teddy is red? I hate red! Obviously he doesn't love me!!"   

    Owning an adult boutique I am at ground zero for watching romantic plans come together. I see the stress and anxiety of confused and anxious shoppers that seem to feel the gift NEEDS to make their lover happy or the depth of their feelings will be questioned.

     If I can offer any advice it would be this:

    It's not your  partner’s job to make you happy. It’s your job to make yourself  happy! Of course it’s easy to feel good when your  partner is acting in a way that you want —but needing them to be a certain way in order for you to feel good —that’s bondage. Thinking that they’re always going to be in a good mood and directing their affectionate attention towards you — while that may be possible during the initial stage of a relationship, is impossible to sustain long-term. You're responsible for your happiness. Your  partner is responsible for their happiness. We should all deliberately focus on things to help us feel good in our lives and focus on the things you appreciate in one another.

    If you’re looking for someone to complete you —or vice versa—you’re looking in the wrong direction for the lasting happiness, wholeness, and fulfillment that you truly seek. Wouldn’t  it be better if you could find a way to feel how you want to feel regardless of what you’re partner is saying or doing?

    This advice will transform every relationship in your life – not just the romantic ones.  Before I knew these things, I was unintentionally holding my partner responsible for my happiness. When I learned that I’m responsible for my own happiness and when I learned how to consistently align with it, my entire world transformed.  I now have the freedom to choose if and when I spend time with someone else, and I deliberately choose to spend time with others who get this, too.  My relationships are more meaningful, more loving, more free, and most importantly – more fun!  And my overall happiness continues to grow, too, regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or not.

    So, when it comes to shopping for that perfect Valentine's gift, by all means get creative in bed, buy that sexy lingerie or experiment with a new kink but remember - it's supposed to be fun, so don't worry! ...... and don't forget, if it's not the perfect fit, it's still always the thought that counts!

    Happy Valentine's to everyone!